How Can You Prepare Your Children For Divorce?
One thing that crosses the mind of every loving parent when he or she is about to get divorced from his or her children’s other parent is, “How/what will I tell the children?” This is because adjusting to divorce is one of the hardest things children can go through. If you are about to get divorced from your children’s other parent and wonder how to prepare your children, you have come to the right place. In this article, we offer some tips on how you can prepare your children for divorce.
Tip #1: Wait Until You Are Sure the Divorce Is Happening To Tell Your Children Anything
It is advisable to avoid mentioning a divorce until you and the other parent are sure you are going forward with it and have already begun the divorce process. This is because it can be challenging for your children to process that their parents are getting divorced and then have to turn around and process the fact the divorce has been called off. If you mention a divorce before you and your spouse are absolutely sure that you are going forward with it and then call it off, you will put your children through emotional turmoil. Additionally, your children may not trust you and may constantly be worried that their parents will get divorced.
Tip #2: Ensure You and Your Spouse Are on the Same Page
It is vital that before you tell your children about your divorce, you ensure you and the other parent are on the same page regarding everything that concerns your children. Remember, regardless of what happens between you and your spouse, your children should always come first. Keep in mind that although you and the other parent will not be spouses anymore, the family will still be a family.
Tip #3: Ensure Your Children Understand It Is Not Their Fault
Sometimes, children think they are to blame for their parent’s divorce. Children are never to blame. Ensure you make it clear to your children that they are not responsible for your divorce. Make sure your children understand that the divorce is only between you and the other parent.
Tip #4: Reassure Your Child During His/Her Delayed Reactions
Before telling your children about the divorce, understand that your children may react in many ways. For example, it could take your child some time to understand what is happening or process the news. If your child has an emotional outburst after a day, week, or month, respond reasonably to avoid causing unnecessary stress on your child.
Tip #5: Explain What Will Remain Unchanged
Stability can help a child flourish. A stable home helps children feel safe and ready to succeed. Unfortunately, divorce can be destabilizing for children. You can keep some form of stability for your children by clearly explaining what will remain unchanged. This can help minimize the emotional and physical effects of the divorce on your children. Some things that can stay the same after divorce include how involved both parents are with activities, the child’s school, and sleeping arrangements.
Contact a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer
If you are going through a New Jersey divorce and need legal guidance, contact a qualified New Jersey divorce lawyer at Citizen Soldier Law.